It appears that I don’t know everything…


I used to think I was awfully clever and the reason I thought this, was because I knew everything.  I never turned to anyone for advice or asked questions because, duh, I knew everything! However a few years ago, a very clever woman told me that clever people asked questions because they know they can’t know everything, and the only way to be successful, is to ask more and more questions.

The problem with asking lots of questions is that whilst you may get the answers to your initial questions, you will also get a lot more information than you started with.  And with more information, comes MORE QUESTIONS!  So this is my roundabout way of saying I don’t have all the answers following my visit with the breast surgeon… just more information… and a couple more questions.



We arrive at Dr David Thomson’s office and he’s keen to see my most recent MRI, mammogram and ultrasound scans to make sure they are clear (I already know they are so there’s no suspense required). We talk about the dates for surgery and he informs us that whilst we are booked in for 21st March, we’re not ‘confirmed’ until I’m in the theatre and under aesthetic! So, I need to get comfortable with the reality that timings may still change and that needs to be OK.


The surgery is in the afternoon so I can’t have any food after 8am . Already I’m thinking whether I’ll be able to go to the 6.30am Body Attack class, followed by toast and coffee at 7.30?  I don’t know how Mr F will feel about this, but it sounds like a plan to me! I am also given a list of things I can’t take for 10 days before the op. It’s mostly pain-killers and anti-inflammatory drugs that that will thin the blood and prevent it from clotting. There’s about 50 items on the list, and even if they’re not, I’m supposed to avoid all things medicinal regardless, including  Berocca?! (Please note, former question ‘What will I need to stop doing before the op?’ ANSWERED)


Then come a few bits of information that freak me out.  We are sparing the nipple and in some cases the nerves behind the nipple might die and some, or maybe all, of my nipple will fall off. OK, this is pretty rare, but he said something about maybe a corner peeling off – I don’t know.  It all sounded very dramatic. Feeling in the boob is going to disappear, maybe for a year. Over time this may feel strange, like little creatures, tingles or phantom pains in my boob. Oh, well, good to know these things in advance.


I will be in hospital between 8 – 10 days, which is longer than I had expected, to allow the drains to run clear, reduce the risk of infection, and allow my now empty boob to lie flat against the wound – again, information that freaks me out.

Day two is the potential danger day for depression.  He says it’s quite common for the emotions to come crashing down after the adrenaline of the operation – note to self, choose a ridiculously upbeat, self-help book to load onto my kindle.


We do finally get round to some of our questions. It’s 6 weeks before I can do any proper exercise and after this I thought the questions about the bike and resistance bands were a bit futile.  Apparently I will be able to do everything I could before  – the problem is the pain, not the ability.  So as long as I am hard as nails, I should be fine.

What Mr F and I are gathering is, as far as the breast surgeon is concerned, his job is pretty much done when everything is removed. It’s the plastic surgeon who’s going to be concerned about my levels of movement to avoid knocking the expanders out of whack and giving myself one boob that sits under my arm pit and the other in the middle of my chest – so we’ll save the vanity inspired questions for him.


After we leave, the questions we now have center around how much time Mr F needs to spend with me at hospital and the best times to visit. My spoilt side has requested every morning before work and every evening during visiting hours.  I would also like a couple of hours on the weekend. I realise I may not be the best or most riveting company during this time, but there have been a lot of occasions during our relationship where I am also not great company, and he’s still had to spend time with me so this can’t be that different. Surely?

5 thoughts on “It appears that I don’t know everything…

  1. Hello, me again. How funny that you found my blog at about the same time I found yours. A dear friend found you and told me to check you out. Please please read my blog. I think it may help you tremendously. First thing to know is that everyones experience is SO different. What is impossibly hard for one is a breeze for another. What works for me may not do a thing for you. But, having said that, I can tell you how things went for me in a brutally honest way.

    I was NOT in the hospital for 8-10 days. No way no how. From what I understand is that unless you are doing a flap procedure or have complications, your stay should only be a few days. I checked myself out in 2 basically.

    Also, I didnt hit a depression/emotional crash after the surgery. I felt great. Emotionally free.

    Feeling in your boobs. Yes, it will disappear. For a year. Maybe forever. You have have semi sensation after or spotty sensation. There are no guarantees feeling will return. Actually, the opposite is much more true.

    It will be both pain and ability post op to do anything especially exercise.
    Sigh. I wish I had found you sooner.

    I am not going to bombard you with my experience anymore lest I write a book over here. LOL
    Come visit me. Comment, questions, email me if you need. I will even call you if you want to talk over anything. I have been working with a lot of women world wide now sinc I started this journey and would love to help you in any way I can.

    • Hello Melissa and thank you for coming by. I did go to your blog yesterday. i love your home page and your pictures are amazing. I’m booked in to get pre-op nudie photos done this week and I’m so nervous! I think my face will look like I’m clenching throughout I won’t be able to relax.

      I do need to sit down and read your blog in more detail though. i love a bit of brtual honesty.

      How long were you in hospital for? My step-mum, who is a breast surgeon, says that the hospital stay isn’t that long in the UK either. Are you US? I think they are a little more cautious in Aus. They’ll make you have a pap smear for sneezing in a Drs appointment, they’re that cautious. I don’t think they let you go until your drains are clear. I also think it’s different depending on whether you are a public or private patient. If you’re paying I think they want you there for as long as possible!

      Great to hear about no crash. It’s strange, both me and my boyfriend keep waiting for my emotional crack now. I’m extremely emotional in general and like a good cry, but I have been pretty level – probably more so that usual in my opinion – in the run up so I hope that carries over.

      How is your feeling, or non feeling now?

      I will come and stalk your blog later this week and I will take inspiration from your photos. Wish me luck for my shoot. xxx

      • Just saw this now! How did I miss it? There actually is no date showing on my phone so I can’t tell how long it’s been sitting here.

        I have much to say but and cutting out flowers w my 7 year old girl and need to give u a rain check.

        Did u get the pics done?


      • That sounds fun! Yes i did. Just got the pics back today. i love some of them, and my body’s benefited from a month off the booze, but some are a little cringy. Glad I did them – to remember the boobs and my body once gravity attacks it! My boyfriend’s not too keen for me to get them up here mind! x

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