Giving My Boobs the Send Off They Deserve: Boob Off Bake Off

Having a party to say goodbye to my boobs may seem like a strange idea to some people. But, I have spent 33 years making people uncomfortable, so when I had the vague idea of having a booby send off, I put any thoughts of other people’s awkwardness to one side.  Then I thought, if I did this to raise money for http://pinkhope.org.au, even if it makes people feel really uncomfortable, it will be for a great cause.

Originally I had big ideas for the Boob Off Bake Off – the amount of games that can be made better with the addition of a breast, are infinite.  First I considered boob darts, until the question of sharp implements, my friends, a lot of booze and my house came into the equation and that was canned.

sexydart-b

My boyfriend talked me out of playing ‘Hot Boob’. For those of you who are not familiar, this is where a group of people pass a prosthetic breast fillet around until the music stops. A bit like pass the parcel. However, we did feel the levels of awkwardness + organised fun would be a little too much.

chicken fillets

Pin the nipple of the boob was also on the cards. First of all we were going to get big nudie magazines and give people stickers, or ‘nipples’ to pin whilst blindfolded. Then it was downgraded to a big sheet of paper with boobs drawn on them where people had to find the correct place with a pen.  I know what you’re thinking, this sounds awesome.  Yes, but I got really busy and forgot about this. http://www.connect2mason.com/node/1177

pin

What my wonderful boyfriend did manage to do was make a giant booby piñata. I think this is a great addition to any party (boob related or not), so we’ll talk you through how to make one in a separate blog post. However, all you need to know for now is that he spent ALL week on this. He kindly tried to get me involved stating that couples who partake in arts and crafts together, will stay together… This was essentially a lie to get me to finish the thing. Which, I did by painting the beautiful monstrosity. Please don’t judge me on the colours, Mr F bought the colours so I worked with the tools I was given.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

More about the piñata shortly.

So, with grand plans scaled down somewhat, we got to the task at hand.  We decorated the place with pink balloons, pink cups and napkins.  If anyone was confused as to where they were going, we also mounted a plastic bust on our front door.

WP_000224

I woke up ridiculously early to bake two different types of cupcakes.  Having contemplated how I was going to develop the nipple all week, I had the incredibly good idea to make them out of marshmallows and giant chocolate buttons.  So yes, they didn’t look much like nipples, but they tasted delicious. http://www.cookrepublic.com/recipe-archive/strawberry-jam-cupcakes

WP_000213 (1)

Blessed by the good weather gods, our lovely guests started to arrive and soon our house was FULL of boob related baked goods. I was bowled over by the effort everyone went to, they not only looked great, but tasted unreal. The piece to resistance was this wonderful bust cake that I loved so much I hid it under the table so I can take it into work and ask people to pay to eat it.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

With a house full of cakes, combined with copious amounts of fizzy wine, our guests were bouncing off the walls on E numbers by 6pm.  Which, seemed like the perfect time for the piñata?

I warn you, please conduct this game with space and a safety barrier. I kicked off proceedings, but was a bit of a wimp and passed the stick pretty quickly.  My friend’s boyfriend then took over and whilst he only made a dent in the left breast, he almost took out my frangipani tree out as well as 10% of my guests.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Mr F then had the job of destroying his beautiful creation to release the contents of Celebrations and Ferrero Roche left over from Christmas.

I had a great day and even allowed myself a few glasses of fizzy. The celebrations continued until 11.30 (which is about 2 hours after my pre-operation curfew) until the hard core guests continued into the night and I retired to by bed.

We raised around $600 for http://www.pinkhope.org.au and my current boobs are grateful for their soiree.

If you are in a similar situation and can face it I would strongly recommend throwing yourself a booby send off (you can even do it once they’ve gone if that’s easier to stomach). Does it make the situation easier to deal with? Not really. Does it make light of the mammouth undertaking I’m about to take. Yes, kind of. Was it a lot of fun in a very serious time? Yes, and if it raised a little bit for a charity that has been incredibly important to me, then brilliant!

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA
WP_000234 WP_000235

WP_000236 WP_000237

Advertisements

6 thoughts on “Giving My Boobs the Send Off They Deserve: Boob Off Bake Off

  1. Simply brilliant! I wish I had the courage and amount of friends to pull off such a gathering! Absolutely the coolest blog post I’ve read in a while! I really like how upbeat your celebration was and for such a great cause!! 😀

      • It’s been about 7 days and I’ve been home since Monday afternoon. Just don’t over do it! The more stuff I keep doing during the day: trying to shave armpits, put hair up, move a plant, etc., the more I certainly feel it the next day. The meds still have me way too cloudy to blog everything I want to. I can’t even do my bills today without nodding off at the kitchen table. My advice is to also eat healthy, drink a TON of water and apply juice or something to make you use the bathroom, as the stomach pain is terrible. I hope someone will be with you 24/7 for the first week or more just to make sure you don’t get dizzy or fall or snag your drains on anything. I’ll eventually post pics. My chest was scary the other day and made me a little anxious but I’m trying to stay calm and look to the future and for the end result. So, don’t lift, bend, pull, push, etc. Get someone to put your socks on and take them off for you! Also, just try and sleep, rest, eat healthy, and stay calm. I know it’s very hard for me to do these things, but you HAVE to! I go Monday to my surgeon and plastic surgeon. The drains aren’t as bad as everyone hypes them up to be, at least for me, but they are a pain in the butt nonetheless! Sleep propped up too! A wedge pillow or 2-3 regular ones is a must!

      • Ah lovely. Despite the fogginess you sound like you’re doing OK? Who’s with you at the moment? Is it your mum?
        Thank you for the advice. I’ll be stocking up on prune juice today! They keep you in hospital until your drains are out over here so whilst I may be climbing the walls in hospital, hopefully it will keep me disciplined? they’s told me to try and limit the amount of visitors I have too to make the most of doing nothing and not straining myself.
        Glad to hear your drains aren’t causing too much trouble. How much are you sleeping?
        Lots of love and I hope your surgeon app. goes OK. You’re right, focus on the end result. It will be so worth it x

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s