As the old saying goes, time flies when you’re getting your boobs lopped off. Or something along those lines. Whilst some elements of the last 4 weeks, such as hospital food, seem a lifetime away, it feels like only yesterday when I was waving goodbye to Mr F as they wheeled me into theatre.
But as I prepare to hang up my slippers, here are my top 10 signs that show I’m ready to re-enter the world of work.
- I am feeling better. Still get pretty tired, like someone has turned off the lights unexpectedly. But much better.
- My arm movements are pretty good and I’m lifting things, including my friend’s 18 month old daughter. I realise this wasn’t wise, but she reached up to me, my ovaries gave a little yelp and I instinctively picked her up.
- My day revolves around The Bachelor; Ben’s Season, and I already know that nasty Courtney wins, they are now broken up and my favourite, Kacie B made a fool of herself going back on the latest series.
- I am repeatedly purchasing clothes to wear to work despite not earning a wage.
- I have lots of new clothes to wear to work.
- The final episode of The Bachelor, where Ben chooses Courtney, airs tomorrow.
- My brain is the consistency of papier mache and I struggle to use the right words for everyday items.
- I find it hard to make it past 5.30pm before eating dinner.
- I should be able to go sans plaster on the total eclipse of the nipple by Monday.
- I’m fully back up to speed with Hollyoaks.
So that settles it, back to the grind on Monday.
But just to make doubly sure I’m good to go, I think I’ll head off for a luxurious spa and wine weekend….