Happy Boob-A-Versay! One year after my mastectomy

Hello, did you miss me? I’m really sorry it’s been so long, but I promise, I’ve not had much to say… not on the topic of boobs anyhow.

However, today is my Boob-A-Versay! What’s that I hear you cry? One whole year since I decided to chop my boobs off, even though I don’t have cancer (please refer to previous posts for the rationale and to ensure I’m not crazy).

No news is good news

For those of us involved in online communities of high risk women making prophylactic choices, you often only read about when things go wrong with surgery. It’s not surprising really. So few people understand what you’re going through and you’re more likely to reach out and share your bad experiences, rather than the good ones. But that’s why these communities have been set up in the first place and they are an absolute God send.

However, for every bad experience shared, there’s a load of good ones that are gratefully and quietly held dear. And that’s pretty much what I have been lucky enough to go through, and why it’s been so blummin long since we talked. However, on my Boob-A-Versary I wanted to share my positive update to help reassure anyone out there thinking about, or about to embark on prophylactic surgery that it can be a relatively stress free process, and the world’s greatest gift.

One year on: How are my boobs?

In a word, they are great. I have gone from a 32B to a 32D (Mr F calls it the world’s most traumatic and expensive boob job – I promise you that it wasn’t the reason). They look good in clothes and even better in a bra. My scars are still pretty visible, but only if I lift my arms up and they could be better, if I could be bothered to massage them more; I get bored.

The artist formerly known as the total eclipse of the nipple is now only about 75% nipple and a bit wonky on top, but it doesn’t bother me in the slightest and I treasure it like a war wound.

I see my plastic and breast surgeon every 6 months, but other than that, the constant trips to the hospital have subsided.

One year on: What can I do?

Pretty much anything. 2 months after my exchange surgery, in November, I was signed off to do any exercise. After a good burst before Christmas, and an indulgent trip to the UK in between, I have been going to boot camp 3 – 4 times a week. And word up ladies with muscles for boobs, I did 100 push ups on my toes last week. Ace!

One year on: What else has happened?

I won’t bore you too much, but here’s the here and now in a snapshot. You may remember I talked about signing up to become a life-coach.  Well I did. My course is up and running and it’s awesome. And Mr F… remember him? Well the most wonderful and supportive man who was by my side every step of my boob chopping journey; he only went and proposed didn’t he!  Of course I said yes and we are busy planning two weddings for this September.

Wrapping up

So that’s it really.  I probably won’t write to you for a while. Like I said, I really don’t have much to talk about and I’m even getting to the point where I barely think about the bad boys any more. What I will say is that last year was one of the best years of my life. I’m so proud of myself, so unbelievably lucky and grateful for this precious gift my mum wasn’t lucky enough to even consider.

If you are a high risk woman and are considering prophylactic surgery, I promise it’s not all scare stories and there are women who have positive experiences with very minor, if any complications. I hope my experience can help give you the encouragement to make the bravest decision of your life.

To the rest of you, thanks so much for your support and love.  I couldn’t have done it without you x

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Giving My Boobs the Send Off They Deserve: Boob Off Bake Off

Having a party to say goodbye to my boobs may seem like a strange idea to some people. But, I have spent 33 years making people uncomfortable, so when I had the vague idea of having a booby send off, I put any thoughts of other people’s awkwardness to one side.  Then I thought, if I did this to raise money for http://pinkhope.org.au, even if it makes people feel really uncomfortable, it will be for a great cause.

Originally I had big ideas for the Boob Off Bake Off – the amount of games that can be made better with the addition of a breast, are infinite.  First I considered boob darts, until the question of sharp implements, my friends, a lot of booze and my house came into the equation and that was canned.

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My boyfriend talked me out of playing ‘Hot Boob’. For those of you who are not familiar, this is where a group of people pass a prosthetic breast fillet around until the music stops. A bit like pass the parcel. However, we did feel the levels of awkwardness + organised fun would be a little too much.

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Pin the nipple of the boob was also on the cards. First of all we were going to get big nudie magazines and give people stickers, or ‘nipples’ to pin whilst blindfolded. Then it was downgraded to a big sheet of paper with boobs drawn on them where people had to find the correct place with a pen.  I know what you’re thinking, this sounds awesome.  Yes, but I got really busy and forgot about this. http://www.connect2mason.com/node/1177

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What my wonderful boyfriend did manage to do was make a giant booby piñata. I think this is a great addition to any party (boob related or not), so we’ll talk you through how to make one in a separate blog post. However, all you need to know for now is that he spent ALL week on this. He kindly tried to get me involved stating that couples who partake in arts and crafts together, will stay together… This was essentially a lie to get me to finish the thing. Which, I did by painting the beautiful monstrosity. Please don’t judge me on the colours, Mr F bought the colours so I worked with the tools I was given.

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More about the piñata shortly.

So, with grand plans scaled down somewhat, we got to the task at hand.  We decorated the place with pink balloons, pink cups and napkins.  If anyone was confused as to where they were going, we also mounted a plastic bust on our front door.

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I woke up ridiculously early to bake two different types of cupcakes.  Having contemplated how I was going to develop the nipple all week, I had the incredibly good idea to make them out of marshmallows and giant chocolate buttons.  So yes, they didn’t look much like nipples, but they tasted delicious. http://www.cookrepublic.com/recipe-archive/strawberry-jam-cupcakes

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Blessed by the good weather gods, our lovely guests started to arrive and soon our house was FULL of boob related baked goods. I was bowled over by the effort everyone went to, they not only looked great, but tasted unreal. The piece to resistance was this wonderful bust cake that I loved so much I hid it under the table so I can take it into work and ask people to pay to eat it.

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With a house full of cakes, combined with copious amounts of fizzy wine, our guests were bouncing off the walls on E numbers by 6pm.  Which, seemed like the perfect time for the piñata?

I warn you, please conduct this game with space and a safety barrier. I kicked off proceedings, but was a bit of a wimp and passed the stick pretty quickly.  My friend’s boyfriend then took over and whilst he only made a dent in the left breast, he almost took out my frangipani tree out as well as 10% of my guests.

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Mr F then had the job of destroying his beautiful creation to release the contents of Celebrations and Ferrero Roche left over from Christmas.

I had a great day and even allowed myself a few glasses of fizzy. The celebrations continued until 11.30 (which is about 2 hours after my pre-operation curfew) until the hard core guests continued into the night and I retired to by bed.

We raised around $600 for http://www.pinkhope.org.au and my current boobs are grateful for their soiree.

If you are in a similar situation and can face it I would strongly recommend throwing yourself a booby send off (you can even do it once they’ve gone if that’s easier to stomach). Does it make the situation easier to deal with? Not really. Does it make light of the mammouth undertaking I’m about to take. Yes, kind of. Was it a lot of fun in a very serious time? Yes, and if it raised a little bit for a charity that has been incredibly important to me, then brilliant!

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